Holy Shitpickles, Am I Tired

Hi! Welcome to mettenland! There are a lot of things moving at once right now, and not everything is ready, but we have to start somewhere. Please excuse our progress as you stumble around our half-built, not totally ready websites.

So…right now I am preparing to release a novel. Kristi has started making fudge again. I am building websites to help us sell novels and fudge, and also help cut down on the constant, annoying Facebook posts that my friends have had to endure from me (sorry about that).

We are also in the beginning stages of producing a new weekly talk show format podcast that might help us sell books and fudge…and maybe make you laugh. This podcast will include original music written, performed, recorded, produced, and whatever else by us. Also, our inaugural guest is already booked. It’s the one and only Teri freakin’ Mammini! You’ll be able to find it here and at the regular podcast-finding places once it’s ready.

Oh, and I am also dying of total renal failure. This forces me to go to dialysis three times a week. It has also forced me to take a leave from my real job until such time that I might get a new kidney. I am fighting with the Social Security Administration to try and get some income to help keep us afloat until I can get back to work.

Honestly, I am working harder now that I do at my real job. There I just sit on my ass. However, dialysis makes me exhausted and it’s difficult to concentrate. While my job does not involve physical movement, it involves financial decisions that could have huge negative consequences if I do something stupid. And you know me…all I do is stupid stuff these days.

I have also started the process of writing my next book, but it’s going far too slowly for my liking. See, it’s complicated, but I am basically an indie author. There are deals, agreements, and organizations in place that make me less indie than other indie authors…but still. One of the keys to success for people who are basically indie authors and wish to build a platform before they succumb to renal failure is to create numerous potential income pipelines…which basically means write lots of books. Coming up with ideas for new stories is not hard for me. Turning them into something that someone wants to buy, has proven exponentially more difficult.

I don’t speak for Kristi, but it appears that her problem is on the other side of the spectrum. She has been perfecting her fudge for decades, and it’s amazing. People who have tasted it want more of it. She clearly loves creating the flavors, as well as seeing the look on people’s faces when they try it. She should absolutely share this gift with the world.

In my humble opinion, she has to be very careful about trying to scale to profitability without killing herself. She deals with my crap. She has a full-time, important day job. She has an elderly mother that often needs her attention. Finally, Kristi will not do anything that might compromise the quality of the product. These are all time consuming logistics that have to be managed.

Seriously, Kristi’s even afraid to package and mail her fudge because Arizona is hot and it’s not as absolutely perfect as it could be when it arrives at its destination. I watched her throw away a delicious batch of peanut butter fudge once because it got too hot too fast and she could detect crystalized sugar in it. I tried it and it tasted like the inside of a Snickers bar made by God Himself…but I don’t claim to know anything.

So anyway, the point is that we are working and busy. Hopefully things will incrementally get better as we work on them. Until the book is released and the online fudge store is launched, please enjoy the 72% completed websites and my blog posts about throwing away a guitar or whatever.

I am really looking forward to using our new internet home to build a large community of friends. Feel free to share thoughts, recipes, jokes, or just drop a comment to let us know how your day’s going. It’s a new site and a new beginning. I am genuinely excited!

7 thoughts on “Holy Shitpickles, Am I Tired

  1. Mrs. Metten

    I am super excited to finally embark upon our endeavors (and a little scared, because uncertainty makes my insides want to be on the outside). Metten is accurate when he speaks for me. I absolutely will not sell a product that I am not 100% certain will be the best that it can be. I hope my fudge will make people drool, and the rest of our stuff will make you laugh. Just don’t laugh at my fudge. You can certainly drool over Metten’s book though.

  2. Kenju

    I am in, too, despite the fact I am still teed off about something you made light of and I didn’t get the joke. I can’t wait to hear Teri and taste some fudge!!


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