Category: Metten’s Blog Posts

The Old Lady, the Capo, and the Know-It-All Douche

There’s a great deal wrong with me: end-stage Renal Failure, Borderline Personality Disorder, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, maybe a smidge of Penile Dysmorphic Disorder and a bunch of other stuff. Countless other stuff. Seriously: diabetic frozen shoulder, male-pattern baldness, gastroparesis, clinical depression, anxiety, food addiction, excessive ear wax. I am not shitting you, it’s a never-ending […]

An Open Letter to the Elderly People in My Life

Alex Trabek and the Colonial Penn Life Insurance Company raised me to believe that old people did not want to be a burden to the younger generation. Over the years, they barraged me with images of elderly people making plans for their future. They set aside money. They talked at length to their neighbor Gertrude […]